Summary: Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards
Captivate is a comprehensive toolbox for social interaction. Vanessa Van Edwards has compiled a wide array of science backed tips and tricks that teach how to win at networking events, read facial expressions, and create lasting relationships along with many other useful skills.
The Stats
My Rating: 4.5/5
Goodreads Rating: 4.15/5
Amazon Rating: 4.6/5
Length: 352 Pages
Difficulty: 3/10
Genre: Self-Growth, Psychology, People Skills
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Overview
In Captivate, Van Edwards shares tools aimed at improving the way we interact with others. The book’s chapters are separated into three overarching sections based on the amount of time we have spent with a person: the first 5 minutes, the first 5 hours, and the first 5 days.
First 5 Minutes
In the First 5 Minutes, Van Edwards discusses ways that we can make a powerful impression on people that we meet. She tells us tips for posture and body language to make us appear more confident and likeable. Cues for reading facial expressions are also explained so we can gain insight into how the people we meet feel in various situations. These tools allow us to avoid the bad habits people sometimes fall into that can give a bad impression when we are interacting with new people.
Captivate also discusses how to win at networking events. By showing actionable steps to take at events, Van Edwards explains how we can make the most of these sometimes intimidating situations. She also teaches “conversation sparks” that create memorable first meetings with other people. By using all these tips, one can improve at finding new acquaintances, sharing a memorable first interaction with them, and creating lasting contacts to grow our social networks.
First 5 Hours
In The First 5 Hours, the tools from the prior section are expanded on to further develop our relationships with people as we spend more time with them. Van Edwards discusses what she calls a personality matrix and how building one for the people we are closest with can help us to better understand them.
She discusses well known psychological terms such as the big five personality traits and the five love languages. These tools are meant to help us understand why people do the things they do so we can learn the best ways to improve our relationships with them. These tools can not only help us to better know about others but to also learn about ourselves. By learning about our own personalities, we can learn life hacks that can help to steer us away from our bad habits.
First 5 Days
In its final chapters, Captivate discusses the methods we can use to build lasting relationships with the people in our lives. Van Edwards explains that the best way to deepen our connections with people is to share an emotional connection with them.
By being more vulnerable with others, we create a connection with them that shows the relatable human side of us. The chapters also explain how while our mistakes always seem large and embarrassing to us, they are mostly forgettable to everyone else.
All these tips allow us to get into deeper relationships with others and build close friends, family, and romantic partners. Captivate explains how it takes time to build intimate relationships but that there are tips and tricks we can use to speed up the process.
Here’s some more information if you are interested in reading Captivate.
Who should read this book
Anyone who feels that they could improve in handling everyday social interactions. If you struggle to make friends to get close to people, this book has a ton of tips that you can quickly implement to make lasting changes to your life.
Additionally, if you do have close friends but want to learn how to carry a more confident presence in your professional career, this book has tips that can help with that as well. You will learn more about networking, body language, and how to interact with your colleagues and bosses to gain a better status in your job.
Finally, if you are socially adept, but are fascinated by psychology and why people do the things they do, this book is a fascinating and easy read that will surely have some new information for anyone who picks it up.
Who should avoid this book
I struggle to think of anyone who should outright avoid this book unless it doesn’t sound appealing to you. It is not a difficult read and I think there would be useful tips for almost anyone. Van Edwards does reference many other popular psychological phenomena so if you are an avid reader in this space there may be many topics discussed that you have come across previously.
