Summary - Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is an investigation into the invisible language that gives people charisma. Vanessa Van Edwards explains how the way we move and speak can make ourselves seem more charismatic along with actionable tips and tricks on every page.
The Stats
My Rating: 4.5/5
Goodreads Rating: 4.31/5
Amazon Rating: 4.7/5
Length: 272 Pages
Difficulty: 2/10
Genre: Psychology, Self Help, Entrepreneur
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What is Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication About?
Like Van Edwards' previous book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is a book that will leave you with more useful information than you know what to do with after every page. For how informational this book is, it is very accessible and the pages fly by quicker than most books I've found.
Cues is structured into three sections where Van Edwards explains the signals that can show charisma. She also describes cues that can put us in what she terms the "danger zone" where we are not demonstrating charisma. The three parts of the book are:
Cues for Charisma
Nonverbal Cues
Vocal, Verbal, and Imagery Cues
These three sections explain how these cues contribute to our charisma and list examples of the cues we can learn with suggestions on how to incorporate them into our lives.
Cues for Charisma
In the first section of Cues, Vanessa Van Edwards explains that charisma is actually a combination of warmth and competence. Those who seem competent demonstrate great ability and skill but they may not seem approachable. Those who seem warm are well-liked and friendly but they may not appear able to handle a difficult task. It takes the right combination of the two to be a charismatic person.
Van Edwards also writes that though we may think we are charismatic, the way we walk, talk, and act may be giving off the impression that we are less competent or warm than we want to believe. By learning about the cues in this hidden language, we can learn to act the way we would like to be perceived by others. We can be warm when we want and competent when we want and can make sure that others see us the way we intend.
The book discusses how it is important to know these signals because studies have shown that we form an opinion on how charismatic someone is in the first several seconds of seeing them. We can try to convince others through our words and actions that we are warm and competent but if our first impressions leave too strong an opposing image, it can be difficult to undo. Only by learning the cues that we give others through our actions can we be certain that we know the impact we are leaving on others.
Nonverbal Cues
The second section of the book discusses nonverbal cues. These chapters go through body language and how our physical actions can influence the impressions we give to others. Research shows that nonverbal cues account for 65 to 90 percent of people's total communication. This means if you could go to an interview, bring a perfect resume, give an excellent explanation of your accomplishments, and your body language can still give the impression that you are not competent even though your resume and discussion shows otherwise.
Van Edwards separates this section into four chapters where she explains cues for warmth, competence, charisma, and the "danger zone". She walks through each cue step by step giving easy to understand explanations as well as examples of when or when not to use each cue.
One example of a nonverbal warmth cue is eyebrow raising. When we raise our eyebrows, ours eyes appear bigger and our eyelids open up. This signals that we are interested in what we are looking at and are giving our full attention to it. This tells others that we want to hear more about something they are saying. If you want people to know they have your attention, give them an eyebrow raise.
An example of a charisma cue is "anti-blocking". When we cross our arms or legs, it is like we are placing an object between us and other people. This signals to others that we are closed off or not as open to others. Van Edwards calls this "blocking". "anti-blocking" is simply the inverse of this. By keeping our legs apart and our arms at our sides, we are showing others that we are welcome to interaction and are more approachable.
The reason for this is when we cross our arms, we are protecting our internal organs. It makes us feel safe and is a comfortable position. When we keep our arms apart, our internals are exposed and it tells others that we feel safe around them and are comfortable with their presence. Use anti-blocking to seem more welcoming and approachable.
Vocal, Verbal, and Imagery Cues
The final section of the book discusses vocal, verbal, and imagery cues. Once we have learned the cues that have to do with our body, the ones left have to do with the way we speak and the objects we interact with.
Vocal cues have the do with the actual sound we make with our voice. Our volume, inflections, and speed all effect the way we are perceived through our speech.
For example, have you ever heard a salesman giving you a pitch about something and they say something like: "The annual subscription cost $120?". They give a statement but do so with the inflection of a question. This signals a lack of confidence as they are implying that they would like your confirmation on the price.
If the price was stated in a more matter of fact manner, they would be giving the impression that they are confident in the value of the subscription which would result in you being confident in it as well. The way that we speak is as important as what we say.
Verbal cues are actual words and phrases we can use to signal charisma. Like her previous book Captivate, Van Edwards gives us various examples of language we can use in meetings and emails to improve our verbal cues. This chapter centers around using language that is less "boring" than what people usually use. Like with the other cues in earlier sections, there are examples of warmth and competence cues that can be used so you can seem competent but not cold and distant.
Finally, imagery cues have to do with the aesthetic signals we can use. This covers everything from clothing to packaging to colors. For example, using the color red triggers attention. When you color things red, it stands out more with respect to other colors. The color yellow, on the other hand, signals happy emotions. It can make your presentations and documents brighter but can be difficult to look at if overused.
All of these cues are incredibly useful to know and each comes with tangible examples when to use them. Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is another well-written book from Vanessa Van Edwards that provides interesting and fun facts with every page.
Who Should Read This Book?
If you are interested in psychology and how people think, this book is informative for leaning some of the hidden languages people use to communicate. If you are someone in the working world who has to deal with other coworkers, clients, or customers, then this book can be very helpful for how to improve your image. If you are someone with an entrepreneurial drive, this book can help you with your social media or online presence. There is almost no one who wouldn't find some sort of benefit from reading this book.
Here’s some more information if you are interested in reading Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication
